Funny Bumper Stickers

Stop Following Me!

I may be slow, but I'm in front of you!

If you win the rat race, you're still a rat.

Life is too short, have dessert first

Suburbanites pave over trees, then name streets after them.

All Men are Idiots and I Married their King.

Some days you're the bug,
and other days you're the windshield!

Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway

Boldly going nowhere

CATS: The other white meat

Don't be sexist - broads hate that

Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel

Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends

He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically challenged

Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window

How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you

If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now

I'm an imbecile and I vote

Money Isn't Everything, But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch.

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

If You Drink, Don't Park. Accidents Cause People.

If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.

If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.

Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.

You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.

The Earth Is Full - Go Home

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

Illiterate? Write For Help

Honk If Anything Falls Off

Cover Me. I'm Changing Lanes

I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed for 70 mph.

Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?

Boldly Going Nowhere

Caution - Driver Legally Blonde

How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost?

Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch

Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit .. Got It!

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.

Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.