Beat the Monday Blues

After (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF !!

Do you want to speak to the manager or someone who know's what's going on?

They say that patience is a virtue, well I have been patient all my life and look where it's got me.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I do...

Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one.

If you go to sleep with a itching ass you will wake up with a stinking finger ...

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

Marriage is the transference of misery from the woman to the man.

Does time fly when you're having sex or was it really just one minute?

Everything is edible, some things are only edible once.

If you don't go out on the limb... how are you going to get the good apple?

Studies have proven that 6 out of 7 people enjoy gang rape.

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

If a leper gives you the finger, do you have to give it back?

Integrity is Everything. I'll sell you mine for fifty bucks.

We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour

Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are.

He does the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly.