Some fun thoughts for today

# We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

# When I was born, I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

# You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit the game.

# Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

# I intend to live forever. So far, so good!

# Never take life seriously; nobody gets out alive anyway.

# Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

# The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen all at once.

# Early to rise, and early to bed
Makes a man healthy, wealthy, and dead.

# I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

# The trouble with getting a life is making the payments.

# Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

# Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

# The problem with reality is a lack of background music.

# Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

# We�re all in this alone.

# Life is a mixture of proteins and preservatives all trapped into a pale, green, gelatinous goo.

# I was born at a very early age.

# It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

# So just what are time flies, and why do they like an arrow?

# Just when you think you've finally hit the bottom, someone tosses you a shovel.

# Life is the process of losing our illusions, until we finally lose the illusion
that we are alive.

# The surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.

# Life would be so much easier if everyone read the manual.

# Living right doesn't make you live longer. It just makes it seem like longer.

# Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

# The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

# To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

# Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.

# Knock hard. Life is deaf.